Same word, Different meaning

Half-way around the world, on the edge of the serenely beautiful Jellystone National park in California, live Fred & Wilma. They live in a picture-perfect Hollywood home with a cozy fireplace, white picket fence, and a bright red-door. This door has a dog-door for their dog, Dino. 

Dino is a white Pomeranian. He loved everyone and especially loved his stuffed Panda. When he got really excited, he would do ‘bad things’ with this Panda. Wilma would always say ‘No Dino, bad boy. No.’ However, Dino would not listen and continue. However, when Fred saw Dino doing bad things with his Panda he would yell with authority  ‘NO!’. This would frighten Dino and he would immediately stop. 

Now, both Wilma and Fred had the same message, but they communicated that message with a different tone. For Dino, he cannot understand words, he can only understand emotions.  He could easily understand the anger in Fred’s voice, but he could not detect it in Wilma’s  How you say things is sometimes more important than what you are saying. Same word, different meaning.

One evening, Wilma and Fred had invited friends over for dinner. Wilma toiled away in the Kitchen all-day to prepare a scrumptious meal. After everyone devoured the meal, Wilma asked, ‘How was the food? I hope it wasn’t too spicy?’. ‘Not at all. It was great. Very unique presentation, and interesting taste,’ mentioned one of the friends. 

Later than evening, while Wilma was clearing up the kitchen she called out to Fred, who was watching a football game on the sofa. ‘Did you like the food today dear?’ 

‘It was good.’ Fred yelled back.

Wilma walked over to Fred and asked ‘Do you really mean that? Your tone said something different.’ 

‘I do mean that. I thought it was good. I’m a straight-forward person and I say exactly how I feel.'

‘Do you honey? I feel you sometimes you hide-behind being straight-forward, and ‘direct’, and you don’t really express your true emotions.’ 

‘What’s wrong with being straight-forward? I like to tell people the truth and move on. I don’t have time to think too much.’ 

‘It doesn’t require more time. It’s about really believing and feeling what you say. If you say the food is good, my mind believes you said that, but my heart doesn’t. You just don't say it with real emotions.’  

‘Whatever you say Wilma,’ Fred conceded defeat in the argument so he could get to watch his exciting football match. 

The next day, Fred casually asked a colleague at work, 

“Do you think I’m a straight-forward person?” Fred expected him  to agree readily. 

His colleague quickly replied, ‘I think you are straight-forward.’ 

Fred knew it. He was straight-forward. He told people how it is. No drama, just direct. 

But, his colleague went on, ‘I think it could help you to think about your tone of voice when you speak.’ 

Fred look puzzled, ‘What do you mean?’ 

His colleague replied ‘Anyone can say something directly. But a good communicator, always uses tact and skill when delivering a message. They pay attention to their tone, pitch, rate of speech. These factors convey emotion. Otherwise you could risk coming off as rude or insensitive.’ 

These words rung through Fred’s ears. He had always thought all his colleagues at work liked, admired him. He never realized that his well-meaning words may come off as rude, insensitive. All he wanted to do was to motivate, inspire people. He realized he may need some professional help.  

He decided to join Toastmasters at the Yellowstone University. 

A couple of years later, Fred and Wilma had invited guests over for dinner. Wilma was her usual self, toiling in Kitchen to produce a scrumptious meal for everyone. 

At the end of meal, Wilma asked everyone ‘How was the food? I hope it wasn’t too spicy?’ 

‘It was great, I thought it was tasty and just the right spice level,’ a friend commented. Fred smiled. ‘It was good.’ Same word, different meaning. 

Half-way around the world, in Yellowstone National Park, Fred realized that how you say something, is often more important than what you’re saying. 

What is the meaning behind your words? 

This was written as a CC6 Vocal Variety, Toastmasters speech in April 2013.